Death from Above 1982

4:16pm: OH, WHAT THE HELL, HOW ABOUT A PUBLIC POST

For real this time.

Like many of you out there in Internet Land, I enjoy the uncomfortable truths about humanity revealed by Google's auto-complete. For example:



Well, there you go. Either sexy, the Antichrist, or Jewish. Or... an island? I guess? Sure, why not.

You, too, can play this game at home!

1:04pm: NETFLIX SUGGESTION FAIL



For those who don't see the logic, Season 1 of The Wire is about police trying to bust up a drug cartel. The movie Blow is also about a drug cartel and features supporting actor Paul Reubens, who is better known as Pee-Wee Herman. It all makes sense to me.

He was awesome in Pushing Daisies, though. Oh Pushing Daisies. The combination of Chi McBride and Brian Fuller was too beautiful for this world. At this rate there may never be a Desmond Pfeiffer revival.

Anybody watch Kings? Is it any good?

End requisite quarterly public post.

8:54am: GOOD NEWS, KIDS!





In hindsight, building a storm drain that outlets into the bus yard probably wasn't such a good idea.

8:21am: DEAR CHANNEL 26 SIRIUS XMU,

I turn to you because it's 7:15 AM, 35 degrees and raining. I would like something poppy and upbeat to lift my spirits above the abysmal weather. Your choice of "Street Spirit (Fade Out)" by Radiohead is made of 100% pure agave FAIL.

Heart,
Jon

In unrelated news:



toothpastefordinner.com


I don't know why this is so funny but it is.

4:10pm: SUPAR AUCTION AMERICA FUN TIME!!

You may have heard already that, in a surprise to no one, Good Times will not, in fact, be re-opening in Brockton. You may have also heard that tomorrow morning, all of Good Times' assets will be auctioned off, appropriately, in Brockton.

We are going. A couple of other people are going and I know a few more expressed interest in it. So, if you're interested, email me [lj-username]-at-gmail-dot-com and we'll work something out. Can't offer rides to anyone at the moment as my car is full and as a warning, we're planning on leaving here shortly after 8 AM to get there in time for some of the "preview" to take pictures and people-watch, but this is the sort of experience I felt I needed to throw out there to everyone. Or at least everyone who reads LJ after 4 PM on a Friday.

Email if you want to join. Or just show up on your own. I won't be too hurt if you do. All bets are off if you outbid me on something, though.

Oh, and Obama Obama Obama Obama Biden politics Chief of Staff Obama. In case you were worried I'd forgotten.

11:39am: TFD FTW





7 more days left. 1 week. And... uh... 8 hours and 21 minutes until polls close in this state and a number of others. I'm actually more calm now than I was a week ago. I feel like the only thing that could change the outcome now is an unforeseen circumstance. God help us if one happens.

I have a long, thought-out post banging around in my head. No time to extract it from my brain-meats today. Maybe later in the week.

Keeps it real, Internets.

11:39am: SOMEONE HAD TO



moar funny pictures

5:50pm: I NEED A BREAK

I have a salvo of science journals piped into my Google Reader, both out of genuine personal and professional interest, and because it offers a good cover for the amount of time I spend reading Huffington Post. Consequently, science and politics - and the occasional webcomic - mingle in my RSS aggregate.

So when I initially saw this Science news bit, I registered it as "Unconscious Brain Still Registers Palin."

Freud's in rare form these days.

11:28am: HOW MANY MAVERICKS COULD A MAVERICK MAVERICK IF A MAVERICK COULD MAVERICK MAVERICKS?



moar funny pictures

12:29pm: WELL AT LEAST THE IRAQ WAR LOOKS CHEAPER BY COMPARISON NOW

Hey folks. Let's play a game. Pretend you're someone. Say, the US Government. Not a person, per se, but an entity. Say you need to come up with some money because, whoops! It turns out that due at least in large part to the massive financial de-regulation you've instituted, it turns out that a whole lot of money just ain't there.

By "a whole lot of money" it turns out I mean something in the order of, oh, a trillion dollars. To put that in perspective, that's more than the GDP of Australia. Or Mexico. Or all but 12 countries in the world. And India's close.

Well, it so turns out that $300 billion of that has already been sidled by the American taxpayer or just sort of obliterated at the expense of anyone who thought that said money was real or worked for someone who thought that money was real or worked for anyone who invested with anyone who thought said money was real or, well, you get the idea.

So now you're left with $700 billion that you need to just sort of, y'know. Come up with. So where should we come up with it? I know! Lets root through our greatest untapped resource: America's couch change! Now, Google seems to not want to cough up a reasonable estimate for the average amount of change found in couches. I personally can't believe no one has done this, but perhaps it's a good future Ig Nobel Prize waiting to happen. In the mean time, I'll put forth what I deem to be a reasonable estimate for couch change at $1.50 per 3-cushion couch. Figure the average home has one of these and a 2-cushion loveseat which, if the math bears out, should hold about $1.00 even. So that's $2.50 per household at a rate of 50 cents per cushion. But wait! There's also dad's Lazy-Boy! Surely it contains a wealth of change! Let's double the per-cushion rate for it - since it has only one but is heavily used - and put it down for another $1.00. That makes $3.50 per household.

So $700 billion divided by $3.50 is... only 200 billion average American households! But we don't need the WHOLE house, right? Just the living room! Running a tape measure on mine reveals it to be roughly 12-by-14 feet. That's 168 square feet. But it's pretty small, what with me being an apartment dweller and all, so I'll chalk up a nice, average American living room at 200 square feet. Times the 200 billion needed that's 40 trillion square feet of living room space. Google DOES tell me readily that one square mile is around 27.88 million square feet. 40 trillion divided by 27.88 million - or, to simplify, 40 million divided by 27.88 - is 1.43 million square miles. But the average American home isn't one floor! Most are two, some are three. So let's say we're stacking every one of these living rooms two-high and say, one of every five three-high in honor of the one out of the Keating Five who got away with it. That'd make for an average living room-stack of 2.2 floors. 1.43 million square miles divided by 2.2 is 650,000 square miles.

Great! Now where do we find 650,000 square miles of space? Oh, I know, that's almost exactly how big Alaska is! So there you go! Sarah Palin can tell her state to stop drilling and start decorating and we'll have this financial crisis licked in no time! And all we have to do is cover the entirety of the largest state with average American homes flush against one another and populate them exclusively with average American living rooms and take up the loose change that falls in the cracks.

And, that, folks, is how much money 700 billion dollars is. Try not to lose it again.

4:32pm: NOT TO BRAG BUT









That's what I did so far today. And I only had to get up at 4 AM to do it! Full story later after I finish scrubbing news feeds for pictures of the back of my head.

12:35pm: I MEANT TO POST THIS LAST WEEK





...too soon?

12:17pm: LULZ WIKIPEDIA

"The song is initially dedicated exclusively to the world's population of attractive females, until ODB seems to have pangs of guilt for not including ladies who might be considered 'homely' or 'ugly,' so he decides to include them, with the encouraging words, 'to me, you pretty anyway, baby.' The artist begins the song by expressing his harsh disdain for women whom he meets, who initially appear to be interested in him, yet later express a reversal of opinion. He then transitions into a discussion about how women sometimes imply they are carrying one's child, although the DNA tests may not yet have come back conclusively.

ODB then expresses some confusion with respect to the morality of the situation, but he is able to remedy this by presenting his Cristal brand of champagne, and urging the patrons to disarm themselves, because ODB does not approve of such violence. Continuing, it appears at first that there is some mutual attraction between “Dirty” (ODB) and the female patrons in the establishment; however, it soon becomes apparent to Dirty that the females only wish to use him for a shot at music video stardom. Despite his knowledge of their ulterior motives, ODB’s primary interest remains focused on dancing, and he tries to perpetuate his image as one who should not be taken lightly. He acknowledges a lack of intellectualism, although he claims that this is superseded by his natural charisma.

The females in the establishment start admiring Dirty for his assets, which just causes Dirty to return to the situation at hand: his money. He asks for the females’ assistance in rectifying the situation, and subsequently asks them to expose their nether regions. Dirty finishes off the song with some nonsensical lyrics, that clearly imply his rising anger for the missing money."

[sauce]

4:29pm: KEEP IN MIND I'M POSTING THIS AFTER 6 HOURS OF SURGERY

Well, folks, it looks like good ol' West by God Virginia might have a say in things after all. Knowing West Virginian state politics, their presumptive nominee of Clinton or Obama will be Robert C. Byrd. Keep that in mind when they announce the results in a week; it'd be a change of pace for them to not screw things up. It's why they get the national spotlight so infrequently.

In related news, how often do I post YouTubes? Like, never, right? Because it's kind of a cop-out to post them in terms of content. But this one - via pillyttam - well, folks, it's going to make its way 'round the Tubes like wildfire and I'd like to be able to say that some of you saw it here first, since it just appeared on the Internets today:





That's right: Mike Gravel has gone insane. Er. Insaner.

I'm going home now.

4:53pm: MEATLOAF SANDWICH

Every once in a while you have a friend who somehow missed some seemingly obvious common knowledge well into adulthood. Sometimes you are that person. It's quite embarrassing when it happens. Becky has an old friend who fell victim to this all the time; she says he rather famously didn't know that raisins come from grapes.

Yesterday while at lunch I had one such incident with a coworker whom I usually respect as being rather on top of things. So much so that I find it hard to believe that he just missed this piece of information throughout his life and instead think it might not be as common knowledge as I think it is. So, it's poll time:

Poll #1120222 Navy Beans?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 21

Do you know what navy beans are?

Do you remember this skit, though?

As you were.

2:45pm: ALLSTON VS BRIGHTON

As hopefully all of you who've lived in Boston at one point know, there is no official borderline between where Allston ends and Brighton begins. Allston, you see, was part of Brighton until it was splintered off, for better or worse, into a "village" section named after poet and artist Washington Allston, thereby preserving a legacy of its residents by and large lacking real jobs.

This has been hotly contended at times; what constitutes Allston and what's in Brighton. A lot of it, I believe, has to do with aesthetic, and as such someone who is 20 years old and carrying a guitar and/or a 30-case of Busch Light might desire to have his home be called Allston, whereas most of the rest of humanity would much prefer to have their home be described as in Brighton. This is, except for one determinant, a relatively arbitrary designation when it comes to areas close to Everett St, the unofficial border between the two. However, that one determinant actually means something, and that is where the US Post Office designates Allston via zip code 02134 and Brighton via zip code 02135. Like so:





So, just in case you ever wondered, there you go.

9:48am: IT HURTS SO MUCH

I try not to get too political up in this piece. Aside from reserving that for the Blog-thing, I also think it just attracts unwanted attention to here. I like to keep it mostly a journal, save the editorializing for elsewhere. But every once in a while our Dear Leader will let one fly that I just can't in good conscience ignore; one that makes you wonder if he ever payed any attention whatsoever to how government is supposed to work at any point in his life, ever. Now is such an example:

In light of the troubled government of Pakistan, Bush phoned President Musharraf and urged him to give up his military post, stating, "you can't be the president and the head of the military at the same time."

President and Commander-in-Chief George W. Bush, everyone.

If you need me I'll be out building a bomb shelter. Like something out of Blast from the Past, maybe.

10:20am: HOW DID I MISS THIS

Apparently after a nearly 2-year absence, in late August R. Kelly finally released the next 10 chapters to Trapped in the Closet.

How in the hell did that one get by me?

At any rate, something must be done about this to arrange a viewing. It is necessary.

3:24pm: SOX POSTSEASON TRAFFIC: DAY 1

In roughly 10-15 minutes I'll head out from work back into the City, hopefully with enough time to spare to at least set foot in my place before heading back out to class.

Today's the first Sox playoff game. At Fenway. Traffic, therefore, will most likely make baby Jesus cry. By which I mean me. I'm going to cry.

Commute is normally 40-45 minutes. I'm putting the over-under at 70 minutes today. Place your bets... nnnnnnow.

9:16am: THE RADIO DOES STILL SUCK, THOUGH

The music the kids listen to these days, man, I just have to chuckle about it sometimes.

Have you ever wondered what AFI would sound like if they did their best to try to sound like VNV Nation or, I dunno, maybe the Crüxshadows? Yep, neither have I. Nonetheless, the lead singer of said band that was actually punk when they started out when I was in high school and has since gone well into pop-emo territory has formed this side-project group that is tragically, hilariously called "Blaqk Audio" [sic]. Their first offering, "Stiff Kittens," seeks to answer that question.

There's no official video yet, but the one linked is a homemade one prominently displaying the lyrics. It makes it almost so hilariously awful that I can't watch it. Almost.

If you survived that, there's always Mizar (via welfy). If you survived that, you're probably a Replicant. Enjoy your boiled dog.

Clearly, the time is now for Cradle of Filth to make a comeback.

10:23am: LIVE MUSIC

Peoples! Been a good weekend so far. But I'll talk about it later. Now I want to ask all y'all something I've been wondering about. Becky and I go to a lot of rock shows. Well, some of them aren't exactly "rock," but you get my drift. I don't want to use the word "concert," because that implies something at the the Tweeter Center or the Gahden or something. I more mean any time a musician or group gets up on stage and plays some live music.

But I don't know, amongst our friends, exactly where we stand. After carefully running some numbers, I determined that I've seen about 170 to date, and Becky's seen about 235. Approximate numbers, but fairly accurate, I think. But what about you? Please answer poll:

Poll #1037804 Enjoy live music experiences
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 22

About how many live music shows do you think you've attended in your life so far?

If you are or at one time were a musician, yes, you can count your own shows. Seems fair, since most of the time there'll be other acts on the card, anyway.

I have a feeling that it'll be a barn-burner between Ms. thewicked3000 and Mr. billetdoux, but we'll see how it goes. I'll graph out results when I get enough returns. I'd like everyone to answer, even (especially, actually) if the answer is like "2," or "none." Though I doubt I'll get any of the latter.

Thanks, Eljays!

EDIT (0708121030): For these purposes, please count all festivals as one event per day, not how many acts you saw. For example, I counted Coachella 2005 as 2, not 26.

8:11am: A REQUEST

What follows is going to be a very silly question, Eljays. I'm pretty embarassed about it. But yesterday I found myself not "getting" an Internet meme for the first time. This means that either I'm starting to get too old and out of touch to understand the Kids These Days, or the Kids have developed their own language of communication. Either one is kind of frightening to me.

So help me out here:

The whole IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER/SHOOP DA WHOOP [probably NSFW] thing. I don't get it.

So, there's this guy, right? Looks like he might be from an anime, like, maybe a Dragonball somethingorother? Do they still make those? And his face has some weird other face over it. Don't know what that's from, but whatevs. I guess he shoots a laser out of his mouth? Which he has to charge, I guess. Kay. I'm sort of following.

But "shoop da whoop?" You lost me.

Yes, I know it's a 4chan meme and 4chan is where the Internet goes to die, but, still, WTF?

Enlighten me, Eljays. Looking at you, kingfox.

8:35am: OH MY GOD A RUBBER (RUBBER, RUBBER, RUBBER)


Hello, Shannon, baby? Yeeeah, this is R. Kelly. How u doin girl?



I jus' wanna wish you a happy Golden Birthday. I hope you get up this mornin' and have some golden breakfast. And, when you're ready girl, I'm gonna be there to give you a golden shower. Awwww yeah.

Happy Birthday, shaxxon!!

2:29pm: OH DEAR GOD IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED

Bush takes it up the ass; Cheney actually President

If you need me, I'll be in Canada.

11:10am: THIS JUST IN

Apparently, chimpanzees lack schadenfreude. I'm sure this comes as a grave disappointment to Mel Brooks.

I have full-text access to PNAS here, so I'll try to get the actual article when it's published online (probably tomorrow) and check out their methods.

It should be noted that humans aren't born with a lot of uniquely-human traits; we have to develop them. In fact, several tests of cognitive ability that several different mammilian species can perform - such as the Mirror Test of self-recognition - aren't developed for many months or even years as a child's brain develops from the white matter goop that comes out at birth. That is, I think, really remarkable, and we can benefit from comparative understanding of when humans develop uniquely human cognitive traits - such as the gaining of pleasure from the discomfort of another, however morbid that may be - in terms of development versus other mammals with relatively developed cognitive processes.

At least that's sort of what I hope to make a career out of 10-20 years from now when the developmental cognitive neuroscience field has solidified a bit more. In the mean time, trying to cure neurodegenerative diseases ain't such a bad gig.